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"Damn. I told Marc you were easy."
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"Here you go, sir. Uh, coffee, english muffin, strawberry preserves and look, the new J-Crew catalogue. ... And, I dog-eared the pages with the Latin-looking guys."
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"You know what, so I like the eighties. I even named my motorcycle, "Purple Rain," even though it was kind of green, and kind of a moped."
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"I will not be her emmasculated human hanky puppet boy anymore!"
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"Yeah, at least, my guy was gay."
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"So, great, I've been waiting for you, I mean for your package."
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"You guys, I am not going to have sex with someone I just met."
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"Why did I agree to this? I don't need a date. I just need better videos."
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"...with some inventors who need money for their new invention: a cordless toaster, for toast on the go."
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"I could tell her the truth if I wanted a stilletto heel rammed into my forehead!"
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"Suzanne and I haven't been separated that long, so dating is still something that's only good in theory like 'Footloose the Musical'."
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"He showed me his liposuction scars. ... Apparently, he used to have a pretty fat ass!"
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"Need a new word for 'idiot roommate who should never play gay cupid again'!"
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"Well, wrap him up, I'll take him."
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"Good, Ford. Why don't you just climb onto his plate and tell him the buffet is opened."
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"He likee. He really, really likee."
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"Wow. I really am gay."
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"You know, would you like a drink? I know I could use a stiff one."
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"I can't believe I spent a whole night with a guy trying to sell me insurance."
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"What am I gonna do? I have no gaydar."
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"And the night wasn't a total loss. Bruce is a great kisser. ... Oh, he'll do anything to close the deal."
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"Ooh! Looks like someone's been eating all his vegetables, huh?"
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"Dude, nice going. ... I mean, nice going genetically."
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"Hi, ladies. How'd you like to join me and my friend for a drink? Well, if it's a rich lawyer and a handsome insurance salesman, your wait is over."
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"Something tells me this guy's gonna buy a lot of insurance."
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"Ford, what'd you say we go someplace quieter? Someplace we can really get down to business."
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"I could hold its little mouse hand and tell it to go towards the light."
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"Brown Mutual Life Insurance, because we're around when you're not."
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"Woah, hey, guy, I have a girlfriend until the next one comes along."
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