Episode 3 - "Love Stinks"

Hunter
"How hard is it to pick out clean pants and a shirt. It's not like you're in them very long anyway."
Hunter
"God, I'm lucky."
Hunter
"Norris, they're both guys. Guys wanna put out. The only reason we don't get it all the time is because women won't let us. It's not a problem here."
Hunter
"Dude, he looks just like your wife."
Hunter
"How about this: 'You're a freak!'"
Hunter
"See, this is why I have so much sex, so I don't have to talk!"

Norris
"Damn. I told Marc you were easy."
Norris
"Here you go, sir. Uh, coffee, english muffin, strawberry preserves and look, the new J-Crew catalogue. ... And, I dog-eared the pages with the Latin-looking guys."
Norris
"You know what, so I like the eighties. I even named my motorcycle, "Purple Rain," even though it was kind of green, and kind of a moped."
Norris
"I will not be her emmasculated human hanky puppet boy anymore!"
Norris
"Yeah, at least, my guy was gay."

Ford
"So, great, I've been waiting for you, I mean for your package."
Ford
"You guys, I am not going to have sex with someone I just met."
Ford
"Why did I agree to this? I don't need a date. I just need better videos."
Ford
"...with some inventors who need money for their new invention: a cordless toaster, for toast on the go."
Ford
"I could tell her the truth if I wanted a stilletto heel rammed into my forehead!"
Ford
"Suzanne and I haven't been separated that long, so dating is still something that's only good in theory like 'Footloose the Musical'."
Ford
"He showed me his liposuction scars. ... Apparently, he used to have a pretty fat ass!"
Ford
"Need a new word for 'idiot roommate who should never play gay cupid again'!"
Ford
"Well, wrap him up, I'll take him."
Ford
"Good, Ford. Why don't you just climb onto his plate and tell him the buffet is opened."
Ford
"He likee. He really, really likee."
Ford
"Wow. I really am gay."
Ford
"You know, would you like a drink? I know I could use a stiff one."
Ford
"I can't believe I spent a whole night with a guy trying to sell me insurance."
Ford
"What am I gonna do? I have no gaydar."
Ford
"And the night wasn't a total loss. Bruce is a great kisser. ... Oh, he'll do anything to close the deal."

Suzanne
"I just bought new shoes. You wanna buy me lunch?"
Suzanne
"This rodent happens to be one of God's creatures."
Suzanne
"Don't make me take you down."
Suzanne
"Ford is out on a date already?"
Suzanne
"I don't mind you saying that. You could say it again if you'd like."
Suzanne
"What are you waiting for? Get the hammer."
Suzanne
"And you'd think the thrill would wear off. But it doesn't."

Chloe
"If they're single, I'm a lesbian."
Chloe
"Yeah? You run like a girl!"
Chloe
"Great! Now you've gone and attached emotional significance to my favorite pizza. Can nothing be pure?!"
Chloe
"Hey, you only listen to music from that show, 'Where Are They Now?'."

Marc
"Ooh! Looks like someone's been eating all his vegetables, huh?"
Guy #1
"Dude, nice going. ... I mean, nice going genetically."
Bruce
"Hi, ladies. How'd you like to join me and my friend for a drink? Well, if it's a rich lawyer and a handsome insurance salesman, your wait is over."
Bruce
"Something tells me this guy's gonna buy a lot of insurance."
Bruce
"Ford, what'd you say we go someplace quieter? Someplace we can really get down to business."
Dr. Rinaldi
"I could hold its little mouse hand and tell it to go towards the light."
Bruce
"Brown Mutual Life Insurance, because we're around when you're not."
Bruce
"Woah, hey, guy, I have a girlfriend until the next one comes along."