Episode 4 - "President of the House"

	"I didn't vote. I mean, what can one vote do?"
	"So, who wants rice crispy treats out by the cememt mixer?"
	"Dude, you got a whole papa smurf thing happening there."
	"Well, I think President Ford rocks. Guess who's the new undersecretary of music picking?"
	"Oh, no, Katrina's not a stewardess. She works for Amtrak. ... She pushes a cart up and down the aisle and passes out pretzels and sodas."
	"Well, there's my train."
	"You just bought yourself two more months without soup, mister!"
	"No one at ticketmaster has even heard of Quicken four-point-o."
	"Hey, when a new element joins a pre-existing social pairing, any aggressive tendencies between individuals must be reconciled without interference from a third party, thereby reducing resentment and further tearing of the social fabric."
	"Hey, buddy, can I get a tape of this later?"

	"So, tell him I fell down a well, and he should pick up some cream cheese."
	"I'm the president of the house. I won in a landslide."
	"Next on the house meeting agenda. Rule sixteen, when finished with the television remote, always return it to the remote holster unless there's a sandwich in it."
	"Really? I forgot to clean the can opener, and now I can't have soup for a month. And I love soup."
	"Comb out the butter, you lunatic."
	"You, both, suck."
	"You're just afraid that news of the outside world will breed discontent among the masses and topple your facist pig-dog regime."
	"Good, you mean, like hiring a hitman?"
	"People fought wars just so we could eat pizza on the wrong night."
	"You sure it's not just because you're gay?"

	"Much as I hate to interrupt this Algonquin roundtable repartée..."
	"Captain Jackass?"
	"'Cause the way I see it, if we had the election right now, it'll be thirty-three percent for you, thirty-three percent for me, and thirty-three percent eating couch meat."
	"Hey, somebody around here has to run a tight ship."
	"But obviously somebody completely missed tonight's spanish theme. Hello, paella."
	"Wow, I'm impressed. You actually turned down non-committal sex with a girl in the travel industry?"
	"You might wanna get with the program. Oh, and here's a tip for ya, sandals aren't shoes, hippie."
	"Would you cut off your toe for a million dollars?"
	"We need rules. We need structure. Otherwise, we're just animals in nice pants. Some of us."
	"Oh, god, that twerp has been challenging my supremacy all week!"
	"You're finished when I say you're finished, and you're finished!"
	"God, I was up to five last night thinking of ways to organize the cutlery. ... No, I color code my ties because I'm gay. The cutlery was..."
	"Like we're gonna have a house full of interns."

	"Ooh, that'll be great for your college transcripts."
	"Oh, yes, I remember that ship. When we were together, I was the first mate on the U.S.S. Anal Retentive."
	"It's nice to see Ford is so happy in his new position as the third stooge. ... Larry, Curly and Big Moe."
	"Could she show any more of her kaboos?"
	"I'm miserable. I hate living alone. My apartment is a sty. And I have sponges that I have no idea what to do with."

	"How old are you guys?"
	"You're pretty. Will you brush my hair?"
	"You're like the worst stereotype, ever."
	"And those shoes, talk about slut heels."
	"But when Quicken four-point-o comes to town, we're so there."
	"He might be a womanizing slob, but he's my dad."

	"When you were sucking up to your boss, I was having sex with a couple of the waiters."
	"Of course, if a girder fell on your head, it wouldn't matter if your hardhat was made out of titanium because all you have left was a big spot with hair."
	"I found it derivative and lacking in discipline much like your outfit."
	"When you push, they pull. When you pull, they push. Very rarely do you ever have the pushing and pulling happen at the same time. Capisce?"
	"When you push, they pull. When they pull, you push. What part don't you understand?"
	"Your love making was derivative and lacking in discipline."