Episode 1 - "Pilot"
OPENING

INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Norris is sitting on a large chair, covering his ears, while Ford, in pajamas, plays a solitaire game at the coffee table. Shouting and moaning comes from upstairs. Someone's getting some action.

     JANET
(O.S.)
YES! YES! YES!

     FORD
Why was it you said I'd love living in Brooklyn so much? Oh, right, right, it's so much quieter than Manhattan.

     JANET
(O.S.)
YES! YES! YES!

Mom comes running down the stairs and heads for the couch.

     MOM
(in subtitles)
Make it stop!
(sits right next to Ford)

     JANET
(O.S.)
YES-SIR-EE BOB!

     NORRIS
(shifting in his chair)
All right.

     FORD
Okay, now it's cuddle cuddle cuddle. "You're the best." "No, you're the best. You want some water?" "Yeah, I think I'd love some" and...
(looks behind him, beat)
Right on schedule.

Hunter, dressed in a robe, comes walking down the stairs to the living room.

     NORRIS
Wow, you've only been living here a week, you've already got Hunter's routine down.

     FORD
Well, remember he did the same thing in college. Of course, then, we were in the room.

     HUNTER
(turning to look at them)
What are you guys doing up so late? Don't you have work tomorrow?

     NORRIS
(imitating Janet)
YES! YES! YES!

ACT ONE

INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Norris, wearing a towel and sandals, notices the knocked over trash bin with garbage on the floor and places his painting on on the kitchen sink.

     NORRIS
Oh.
(beat, walks over to the trash and picks it up)
All right.

Janet, Hunter's late night date, wearing a brassiere and a skirt, walks into the kitchen. She notices Norris' buttocks and walks over to him, tossing her blouse aside.

     JANET
Mmm, breakfast is served.

Norris jumps up in surprise and spins around, holding his towel in place.

     JANET
(continuing, noticing Norris)
Sorry. I thought that you were somebody else's butt.

     NORRIS
(a little shy)
No, I'm my own butt.
(beat)
You thought I was my roommate's butt. I'm Norris.

     JANET
Hi.

     NORRIS
Hi. I live here.

     JANET
(looks over at the painting)
That's a really good painting.

     NORRIS
Yeah? Thanks.
(looks down at her brassiere)
I call it still life, with nipples.
(catches himself)
Apples. Whatever. Yeah.

Norris backs away embarrassed, while Janet covers her chest with her arms and grabs her blouse. Ford enters, wearing his neat lawyer dress shirt, tie and slacks with suspenders, and notices the two partially clothed.

     FORD
I'm sorry. Has this become a clothing optional establishment?
(beat, to Janet)
Hi, I'm Ford.

Norris grabs his shirt and wears it, while Janet puts on her blouse.

     JANET
Hi.
(tries to zip her blouse)

     FORD
Hi.
(offers help)
Oh here, let me help you with that. I used to do this for my wife all the time.
(zips her up)
There you go.
(moves to the stove for coffee)

     JANET
(to Norris)
What happened?

     NORRIS
Well, she's--he's--they're--it's...

     FORD
(interrupting)
Thanks, Norris, I'll take it from there.
(beat)
See, I, uh, I've just come to accept the fact that I'm gay. So, now I'm living with these guys while I dissolve my marriage as being gay and having a wife are somewhat incompatible. Unless, of course, you're a politician or a movie star.

Hunter enters with Mom on a leash.

     JANET
(noticing Hunter)
Hey.

     NORRIS
(to Hunter)
Hey. You took Mom to the park after she knocked over the garbage?

     JANET
Your dog's name is Mom?

     FORD
(off her comment)
Hunter has some issues.

     NORRIS
(to Hunter)
I mean would it have killed you to take care of the mess first. C'mon. Don't you care how this place looks?

     HUNTER
No, that's why I never clean up.

     FORD
(interjecting)
Look, stop the bickering, you're both pretty.

Norris and Hunter point at each other and nod.

     FORD
(continuing)
I'll see you guys at the gallery.
(exits the kitchen)

     HUNTER & NORRIS
See you later.

     HUNTER
(to Janet)
Norris has his first art showing at the gallery tonight. It's going to be huge. He is the next...whatever artist is really big right now.
(kisses Janet)

     MOM
(in subtitles)
Get a room!

     JANET
(escaping Hunter's kiss)
I'm gonna be late for work.
(kisses Hunter until leaving the kitchen)

     HUNTER
(watching her go and turns around)
Ahh, I really like her, Norris. I think she might be the one.
(beat)
You didn't happen to get her name, did ya?

     NORRIS
Hunter, you just officially became a parody of yourself.
(beat)
So, listen, I decided if I don't sell a painting tonight, I'm gonna give up being an artist.

     HUNTER
Oh, no, don't tell me you're gonna go back to selling medical equipment.

     NORRIS
Hey, catheters paid for our Playstation, mister.

INT. ART GALLERY - NIGHT

Norris and an art critic, a skinhead type woman, stand and observe one of Norris' works.

     ART CRITIC
Frankly, I find your work disturbing. There's a sinister oppressiveness to it that's, well, very patriarchcal.

Norris laughs at her.

     ART CRITIC
(continuing, screaming at Norris)
What's so funny?!

     NORRIS
(backing away)
Nothing, nothing. Nothing. It's just that as long as I keep laughing, I won't start SCREAMING!
(heads forward to the Art Critic)

     HUNTER
(steps in, grabs Norris and pulls him away)
Hey, woah. Hey, now, c'mon.
(checks out the Art Critic)
Smart. Scream at the angry skinhead.
(beat)
So, look, check this out.
(turns around and eyes a new girl, Doris, across the room)

Hunter waves at her. She waves back.

     HUNTER
(continuing, to Norris)
Oh, isn't she amazing?

     NORRIS
Okay, Hunter, they're all amazing. But that one runs this gallery so she holds my future in her hands. And that's all she's going to hold, right?

     HUNTER
I think she might be the one.

     NORRIS
Really? What's her name?

Hunter gives him a blank look.

     NORRIS
(continuing)
Hunter, she's wearing a name tag.

Ford and Suzanne, his ex-wife, enter, arm in arm.

     FORD
You know, it's actually is comfortable living with Hunter and Norris again. I mean, they haven't changed a bit since college.

     SUZANNE
Hello, they haven't changed a bit since puberty.

They both chuckle.

     FORD
Now, be nice.

     SUZANNE
Oh please, when am I ever not nice?

They approach Hunter and Norris.

     FORD
Oh, hey, you guys know my wife.

     HUNTER
Yeah, hi Suzanne.

     NORRIS
Suzanne.

     SUZANNE
(shaking Norris' hand)
Oh, Norris, your paintings are beautiful. I expected your work to be sophomoric and superficial but it is surprisingly good.

     NORRIS
(uncertain)
Thanks.

     SUZANNE
(to Hunter and Norris)
So, how's life in Brooklyn? Is Ford behaving himself?

     HUNTER
Yeah, for the most part, and when he doesn't, we lock him in the basement and make him listen to Celine Dion.

     FORD
(chuckling)
I like Celine Dion.

     SUZANNE
(sarcasm)
That should've tipped me off right there, huh?
(chuckles)
Well, I'd love to stay and chat but the longer I stand still the louder the howling in my head gets.
(beat, turns to Ford)
It's good to see you. I miss you.

     FORD
I miss you too.

Suzanne kisses beside Ford's cheeks and walks off.

     FORD
(continuing, calling after her)
Hey, look, why don't you, uh, come over for dinner tomorrow night and check out the new pad.

     SUZANNE
(happy)
Okay.

     FORD
(mocking happy)
Okay.
(turns to Hunter and Norris)
You guys will be there, right?

An Australian Art Patron approaches the trio.

     PATRON
Hey, I really like your work, mate. How much for, uh, that painting over by the door?
(beat)
You know, I'm pretty sure it matches my dining room drapes.

     NORRIS
(sarcasm)
Finally, someone who understands my work.
(heads off with the Patron)

At the bar, Suzanne is getting a drink filled.

     SUZANNE
I bet you get hit on a lot at these things by, you know, soon to be divorced woman who want more than anything to have really great revenge sex.

     BARTENDER
It's two hundred bucks an hour, a thousand for the whole night.

     SUZANNE
Well... I haven't been reduced to that quite yet.
(turns around and turns back, beat)
Do you have a card?

The Bartender hands her his card. She places it in her purse and leaves, drink in hand. Hunter walks up to the bar.

     HUNTER
Suzanne.
(beat)
Hi.

     SUZANNE
Hi.

     HUNTER
I'm glad you think Norris's art is good. You know, I keep telling him it is, but I don't really know.
(shrugging)

     SUZANNE
Well, thank you for letting Ford move in on such short notice. We tried living together as friends, but, well, let's be honest, that crap only works on Lifetime.

Suzanne turns to see Ford chatting with another man and looks down in sadness. Hunter notices it too.

     HUNTER
(placing arm on Suzanne's shoulder)
I'm sorry. I know that's gotta hurt.

     SUZANNE
You don't know the half of it.
(walks away)

INT. HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT

Hunter and Doris, the gallery owner, are at the staircase kissing passionately. Norris follows.

     NORRIS
I can't believe I might actually sell a painting. Um...thank you so much for believing in my work.

     DORIS
Don't mention it.

     NORRIS
And I was going to write you a thank you note, but now you're going to have sex with my roommate which is much better.

     HUNTER
(to Norris, et al.)
Good night.

Hunter and Doris head up the stairs.

     NORRIS
Have fun. Be good.

     FORD
(walks up to Norris)
Hey, I got you something.
(hands Norris a little package)

     NORRIS
Earplugs?

     FORD
Yeah.

     NORRIS
Thanks, man.

     FORD
Doris looks like a screamer.

The doorbell rings. Norris answers it. A young woman stands there.

     NORRIS
Hi.

     CHLOE
Hi. I'm Chloe. Does Hunter Franklin live here?

     NORRIS
(to Ford)
Oh good. Tonight's performance will be in stereo.

     FORD
(yelling)
Hunter, your twelve o'clock is here!

Hunter comes down the stairs, his shirt unravelled.

     HUNTER
Okay, what? Because now is not the time.
(beat, notices Chloe)
Hello.

     CHLOE
Are you Hunter Franklin?

     HUNTER
(bit surprised by question)
Uh. Am I Hunter Franklin? How old are you?

     CHLOE
Eighteen.

     HUNTER
Ford, you're a lawyer. Am I Hunter Franklin?

     FORD
Yes, except in the District of Columbia.

     CHLOE
Because, uh, if you are Hunter Franklin, then you would be my father.

Now Hunter is really surprised (more like shocked), so is Ford and Norris.

     NORRIS
Her name is Chloe. Might want to write that one down.
(pats Hunter on the shoulder)

ACT TWO

INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

The trio are in the kitchen. Hunter looks through the window and watches Chloe sit on a the patio bench.

     HUNTER
What are you supposed to do when you just found out you have a kid?

     NORRIS
Hunter, go talk to her. Stop staring at her through glass like she's a turtle.

EXT. HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT

Hunter enters, holding a shot glass and liquor bottle.

     HUNTER
Okay, so daddy drinks.
(pours a quick drink and downs it)

     CHLOE
You know, I always had this fantasy that you'd be like Gregory Peck in "To Kill a Mockingbird".
(notices Hunter taking another swig)
I think it's time to let that go.
(twirls her hair in frustration)

     HUNTER
(notices the twirling)
Wait, wait. Do that hair thing again.

     CHLOE
(twirls her hair again)
This? Why?

     HUNTER
Your mother used to do that.

     CHLOE
You really remember her?

     HUNTER
Julie Sheffield? Are you kidding? Tsch! A guy does not forget the first girl he ever had sex with outdoors.
(catches himself)
Which was a very irresponsible thing to do.
(gives up in frustration)

     CHLOE
Relax, I'm not here to yell at you. I just tracked you down on the internet, and I thought it might be kinda weird to meet you.

     HUNTER
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy you're here... I think. Are you...happy?

Chloe is thinking about it when Doris enters.

     DORIS
(embracing Hunter)
Okay, who's she? Cause I am not into three ways.

     CHLOE
Okay, eww!

INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Ford and Norris play a video game on the Playstation.

     FORD
(looking over to the backyard)
Hey, you think Hunter's okay?. Maybe we should go out there.

     NORRIS
What can we do, Ford? He's got to deal with this alone. But I gotta say, I'm impressed, when I was sixteen I couldn't even get undressed in front of myself.

     MOM
(in subtitles)
Try licking yourself in public.

     FORD
Yeah, I still think we should check on Hunter. I'm worried about him.

     NORRIS
Geez, Ford, how gay are you?

     FORD
(taken aback by comment)
Gay enough to kick your ass.
(Ford pushes the game pad buttons faster and pushes into Norris blocking his view)
Die homophobic ninja scum.

     NORRIS
(while being blocked)
C'mon, Ford.
(pushes him aside to see the television)

Chloe enters followed by Hunter. Ford and Norris stop their playing while they are in the room.

     HUNTER
Thanks for stopping by.

     CHLOE
Oh yeah, well, thanks for having me. No pun intended.
(heads for the door)

     HUNTER
Uh, will I see you again?

INT. HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT

Chloe exits through front door and turns to Hunter.

     CHLOE
Umm, I'm flying back to San Diego tomorrow night.

     HUNTER
Oh, okay, well, uh, have a nice flight.

     CHLOE
Um, I'm staying at the Milford Plaza, so, you know, call me if you want to meet for coffee tomorrow before I leave. And, hey, if you have any other kids feel free to bring them too.
(leaves)

     HUNTER
(closes the door)
Good night.

INT. HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT

Later that same night (really late night), vacuuming is echoing throughout the house. Norris and Ford come down the stairs and stare at Hunter vacuuming the den.

     FORD
Oh my god.

INT. HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT

Norris enters followed by Ford. Norris looks at Hunter and then unplugs the vacuum. Hunter stills pushes it back and forth.

     FORD
(continuing)
Okay, now unplug him.

     NORRIS
(grabbing the vacuum from Hunter)
Hunter, you want to talk?

     HUNTER
About what? I've been a father for eighteen years, and I didn't know about it. I have this whole other life that exists in a parallel dimension like some bad Jean Claude Van Damme movie.
(walks off to the living room)

The guys follow him into the living room.

INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

     FORD
Look, Hunter, there are no bad Jean Claude Van Damme movies.

Norris stares at Ford questionnably. Ford returns his look.

     HUNTER
I'm not supposed to be a father. I'm the guy fathers warn their daughters about. And this is why.

     NORRIS
Hunter, step up to the plate. This is a huge opportunity for you to give a little purpose to your life.

     HUNTER
My life has purpose. I run a construction company. I carry a clipboard. I wear a hat.

     NORRIS
Okay, I'm fighting the impulse to point out quite how pathetic that is, whoops, I guess I lost.

     HUNTER
What do you want me to do, Norris, huh? Teach her how to ride a bike? Build her a playhouse? It's too late. The best I can hope for now is a chance to bail her out of jail.

     FORD
Well, until that happy day arrives, um, why don't you just invite her to dinner tomorrow night? Right? I mean, Suzanne will be here so things will already be tense.

     HUNTER
You really think she'd come.

     NORRIS
She came three thousand miles just to meet you.

     HUNTER
Okay. Okay.
(beat, heading to stairs)
But if things don't go well, I'm cleaning this whole house. I'm not kidding.
(heads up the stairs)

INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

It's the following night and the guys are making dinner. Hunter peels a flimsy carrot over the sink. Norris is cutting up some vegetables. And Ford is cooking.

     FORD
(notices)
That's how you peel carrots?

     HUNTER
No, this is how international super model, Vendala, peels carrots.

     NORRIS
Wow, you are really nervous about Chloe coming tonight.

     HUNTER
Not as nervous as you are about that Australian guy buying your painting.

     NORRIS
Oh shut up.

     HUNTER
You shut up. Don't tell me...

     NORRIS
(interrupting)
Uhuhuhuhuh.

     HUNTER
You...

     NORRIS
(interrupting)
Uh.

     FORD
(turns to them)
You guys are so married.

     HUNTER & NORRIS
We are not.

The doorbell rings.

     FORD
Yes, yes, you are. And I know which one of you is the wife.
(leaves to answer the door)

     HUNTER & NORRIS
(to each other)
You're the wife.

     HUNTER
Okay, you know, I am really nervous. Look, I don't want Chloe to look at me and see some thirty-five year who still lives with his college roommates and buys new underwear to keep from doing laundry, hits on every woman he meets.
(beat, off Norris' expression)
God, don't let her look at me.

Suzanne enters the dining room and stops at the kitchen frame, holding wine bottles.

     SUZANNE
(placing two wine bottles down)
I brought wine...
(places two more wine bottles)
...and more wine.

Ford looks at her questionnably.

     SUZANNE
(continuing, off Ford's look)
What?

Ford takes one wine bottle.

     FORD
(entering kitchen)
Help me.
(places the wine bottle down)

     SUZANNE
It's a nice house, guys. I'm gonna give myself a little tour.
(walks off)

The phone rings. Norris rushes over to pick it up.

     NORRIS
I got it! I got it!.
(beat)
Not nervous.
(into phone)
Hello, yeah hold on one second. Ford, it's for you, some guy named Trent.
(hands phone to Ford)

     FORD
(taking phone)
Who? Oh, the guy from the gallery! How do I look?

The guys give him a look. Ford exits to the patio.

     NORRIS
Okay, all right, okay, I can be happy selling catheters again. No, no, I could. I mean, sure, some people just see it as a tube you pee through, but I'm looking at from the other side.

Hunter gives Norris a questionnable look. Ford comes back in, talking on the phone.

     FORD
(on phone)
No, no, I'd like to go out with you, I'm just saying don't waste those tickets on me. You know, I'm not a big Streisand fan... Hello? Hello?

     NORRIS
(to Ford)
You like Celine but you don't like Barbara?

Suzanne walks down the stairs to the kitchen.

     HUNTER
(to Norris)
Can he do that?

     NORRIS
I don't think so.

     FORD
No, it's just Celine has that great, you know, chest pounding move, and I always had a thing for Tarzan.

     SUZANNE
What was I blind?
(grabs the wine Ford put down some time ago and leaves)

INT. HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Everyone is at the table eating dinner. Hunter stares at Chloe, who sits across from him.

     CHLOE
If you stare at me any harder, you're going to give me a tumor.

     HUNTER
Sorry. I was just trying to imagine what you looked like as a little girl.

     CHLOE
Oh, how's this?
(making crying face)
Where's daddy?!

     HUNTER
(to Norris)
Dude, she hates me.

     NORRIS
Dude, she can hear you.

     SUZANNE
Dudes, you're both way to old to be saying "dude".
(sips some wine)

     FORD
Honey, you promised to be nice tonight.

     SUZANNE
Yes, well, honey, you promised to love, honor and not go Nancy on me.
(downs the rest of her glass)

Suzanne removes a wine bottle cork-with her teeth. She spits it out and pours some wine for herself. Norris gets up from the table.

     NORRIS
You know what, here's a good idea: why don't we all go up to my studio. I can show you my new paintings and we can leap off the roof like lemmings.

They all get up and head to the staircase.

INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Hunter puts an arm around Chloe.

     HUNTER
This will be good. This will be like our first family outing.

     CHLOE
Okay, physical affection thing--
(walks off)
--not earned.

Norris takes Hunter's arm and puts it on his shoulders as they head up the stairs.

INT. HOUSE - ATTIC - NIGHT

Norris holds a painting and shows it to Chloe. Hunter is standing next to Chloe. Ford is sitting on a couch, while Suzanne is standing right behind him with a wine bottle.

     NORRIS
And this is one your father inspired. It's called "The Long Nights of Yes".

     CHLOE
Wow, so angry.

     NORRIS
Uh-huh, isn't it?

     FORD
You know, I admire you, Norris. I always wanted to be a photographer when I was a kid. I just didn't have the guts to pursue it.

     SUZANNE
Oh, I never knew that. I guess it falls into that rather extensive category--things you never told me about when we got married.

     FORD
Which, uh, don't forget includes the subcategory--things I wasn't entirely aware of myself.

Norris shows another painting.

     NORRIS
This one's called "Prelude to Domestic Violence".

     SUZANNE
Were you aware of how silly you looked throwing yourself at that guy at the gallery? Honestly, Ford, he was wearing Espridrills.

     FORD
Is that what this is about? Look, you know, honey, sooner or later I'm going to end up naked in bed with another man.

     SUZANNE
Oh yeah? Well, me too, and just so you know, it's not all it's cracked up to be!

     FORD
I am sorry that I've hurt you. All right, but this is not a concept that we just talked about in therapy. This is who I am. Don't make me keep apologizing for it, or I can't be in your life.

     SUZANNE
I don't need you. I have wine!
(holds the wine bottle tightly, sits down on couch)

Norris shows another painting.

     NORRIS
And this one's called "Send the Valium to the Attic Quickly."

     HUNTER
Honey, I'm sorry about how everything turned out tonight. You okay?

     CHLOE
(sarcasm)
No, I'm devastated by the problems of total strangers.

     HUNTER
Okay, I know I was trying too hard, but this is really important to me.

     CHLOE
Maybe I don't want to be important to you.

     HUNTER
Hey, you can't just come here and drop this bombshell on me and act like I can't care about you.

     CHLOE
And you can't just start caring about me now after you walked out on my pregnant mother.

     HUNTER
What? Hey, she told you I walked out? I never even knew she was pregnant. I got back from spring break one year and she had transferred to another school. She never even said goodbye.

     CHLOE
Wait a minute. You never even knew?

     HUNTER
If I'd known I would've been there.

     CHLOE
I need to go...
(turns around to face the others)
...be in a room...where none of you are.
(leaves down the stairs)

     HUNTER
(frustrated, to all in room)
How could her mother lie to her about something like that? The worst part is I'm a big horn-dog so it looks like something I would do.

     NORRIS
C'mon, Hunter, I know you have a lot to deal with right now but, c'mon, think about how Chloe must feel. Go and talk to her.

     HUNTER
Dude, she's thinks I'm a total loser.

     NORRIS
Dude, maybe this isn't about you. I know that's an alien concept. But, uh, I think it's one you might have to get used to.

     HUNTER
Okay. Okay, I can do this. I mean, hell, she's never had a dad before. She won't know if I'm screwing up.
(heads down the stairs)

     FORD
(sitting next to Suzanne)
Wow.
(clears throat)
Talk about a dysfunctional family, huh? Kind of makes us look like, uh, Doris Day and Rock Hudson.
(chuckle, catching himself)
Bad analogy.

     NORRIS
(holding phone in hand, to no one)
Why won't that Australian guy call?

     FORD
I'm glad you finally let your anger towards me come out. You know, if you hate me, I don't have to hate myself so much for hurting you.

     SUZANNE
Oh, Ford, I'll never hate you.
(beat, gets up)
But if you get a boyfriend before I do, will you ask him if he has a brother?

     FORD
(chuckles)
Sure. Just do the same for me too.

     SUZANNE
Okay.

Ford and Suzanne walk down the stairs together, arms behind each others' backs.

EXT. HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT

Hunter enters and sees Chloe sitting on the bench.

     CHLOE
I hate my mother so much right now.

     HUNTER
Hey, look, go easy on her. You know she probably didn't tell me because she thought I was too immature to be much help, and she was right. Look, from what I can tell she did a great job raising you.

     CHLOE
She lied to me. It's so unfair that she decided I'd never get to know you.

     HUNTER
Well, you get to know me now. And I'm a lot more evolved than I was back then.
(beat, off Chloe's face)
Okay, maybe not a lot. A little. See that, you really haven't missed a thing.

     CHLOE
Well, if it helps, you're not as bad as I expected. And your friends make you look even less bad.

     HUNTER
Listen, Chloe, uh, you know, I don't know what the next step is here but maybe we can just...

     CHLOE
(interrupting)
Sure, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, as long as you don't...

     HUNTER
(interrupting)
No, I understand and I won't, and if I do you'll tell me.

     CHLOE
Absolutely.
(happy chuckle)

     HUNTER
Glad we had this little talk.

     CHLOE
Yeah.
(takes her backpack)

     HUNTER
So, uh, you're going back to San Diego tonight then?

     CHLOE
(putting on backpack)
Not for long. I'm starting school at N.Y.U. in two weeks. That's why I'm in town--to look for an apartment.

     HUNTER
You didn't just come to New York to meet me?

     CHLOE
Uh, no, Mister Ego Man. That would've put way too much pressure on the whole thing.

     HUNTER
Yeah. You're right. This was much easier.

     CHLOE
I better go call a cab.

Chloe moves to the door but, on the way, she stops and hugs her dad. He hugs back.

     CHLOE
(continuing)
You still haven't earned it, but that one's a loaner.
(leaves)

Hunter is by himself on the patio. He is beside himself, thrilled that he connected with his daughter.

TAG

EXT. HOUSE - BACKYARD - NIGHT

A little later, Norris enters with Ford and hands the guys beers. They each open their beers as the conversation is progressing.

     NORRIS
Okay, gentleman, celebration time. Australia called.

     HUNTER
Dude, you sold a painting.

     NORRIS
Dude, no such luck. But he did commission me to paint a mural in his bathroom. He wants a dingo running off with a baby in his jaws. But, you know, he's not married to that. The point is, I am now a professional artist.

     HUNTER
(pats Norris on the shoulder)
Norris, that's great. And I am a dad.

     FORD
I'm jealous. You guys lead such interesting lives. But I'm just another married gay guy living with a couple of straight guys married to each other.

They all clink their beer bottles and take a swig.

     HUNTER & NORRIS
(to each other)
You're the wife.

The trio sit down around the patio table.